The Belly rules the Mind

LAMP

2012-02-11T13:04:00.001-08:00

Writing a statement of purpose for me is an especially difficult task. It isn’t that I believe I don’t have a purpose, it’s just that the purpose I believe I currently have, I can’t prove to be the reassertion of a long running idea in my head, something that was the natural outcome of my existence up until this moment.

I began rummaging through old sock drawers, school mementos and other things of my childhood that would hopefully link up to the idea that I want to work in development, or at the very least give me inspiration to write about something.

I found what I was looking for. They were small round cardboard badges with the word ‘LAMP’ written at the back in capitals, with the front of each decorated with a stick figure doing something different like swimming, or lighting a fire or eating. It didn’t take me long at all to recollect that LAMP stood for learning association movement programme, a string of the longest and most intellectual sounding words I knew at the time. LAMP was more than that though; it was a ‘club’ that I had conned my neighborhood friends into joining, and participating in, and it aimed (if I can be bold enough to say so) at teaching people essential life skills so that, no joke, they could develop themselves. Hence the eating and the fire and the swimming. I think I’d borrowed the idea from all the Hollywood movies I’d watched about little kids going off to camp, but not having the same in India, I tried to set up one. The club dwindled out due to lack of support, and probably more because we’d reached that age where the boys wouldn’t play with the girls and vice versa.

The next time, during the course of my youth that I can truly say that I thought about development as a career option was during my visit to a small city called dindigul as a part of the state football team. We were representing Delhi at the girls Under 17 football nationals, and the host of this tournament so greatly important for us was a mere speck on the map in Tamil Nadu. I remember when the train halted at the station in Dindigul. I’d never before been to such a remote city (if I can call it that), and I remember at that precise moment realizing the differences between the big cities and the rest of India. It was perhaps a long awaited revelation, something that should have struck me before. Travelling by train in India takes you through many remote regions, and you can catch a glimpse of farmers in their paddy fields and their broken down shacks. It takes a while to register that that is all they have. While I don’t doubt their happiness, it sometimes affects me when I picture the differences between the farmer in modern India and the farmer in Europe. I passed by a lot of farms while living in france, and the comparison between the two was stark. So when questioned about my motivations for working in development I am often slightly uncomfortable. I don’t wish to sound patronizing and pretentious and argue that I want to work in development to make a difference to the vast majority of people in my country, but actually, my idea is simply just that.

To mummy and papa

2011-10-29T08:00:00.001-07:00

Dear Ma and Pa,

As I told you earlier, the house in which I'm currently staying used to be the house of Rene Descartes. I often ignore the little plaque on the side of the door because I come home either hungry or in desperate need of a toilet, leading me to burst into the house and to sprint up three flights of stairs. The plaque outside, thus goes unread.

Today, however, was different. I think that's largely because as I have things to do and hence, I was overcome with a dire need to procrastinate. I began reading interesting things on Wikipedia and as it often happens while reading stuff on wikipedia, one thing and thought (pun intended that will be understood later on) led to another. I realised that I knew very little about Rene Descartes. It thus seemed natural to wikipedia him.

Another reason for that the curiosity is that at times while I sleep I can hear scratching and humming that sounds like a philosopher embedded deeply in his work. Initially, I used to think that it was my Transylvanian (vampire) neighbour who jokes about his comfortable coffin but now I've come to believe that it might actually be the ghost of Descartes himself.

Anyway, returning to my findings: I discovered that Descartes is the guy who said 'I think therefore I am'- without doubt, a wise and philosophical statement, endowing him with the title of 'the father of modern philosophy'. Turns out that he was also the chap who laid the foundation for modern maths and developed the cartesian system- something that I'd studied and quite despised in school. So while these were all things I'd known, I'd forgotten them. But now, living in his house, I'd become suddenly interested and fond of the chap.

Also because I also stumbled upon this on wikipedia:
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Plaque_Ren%C3%A9_Descartes,_14_rue_Rollin,_Paris_5.jpg

It's the plaque outside my door. It says that Rene Descartes (who lived most of his life in the Netherlands) lived in this house for three years during his visits/sojourns to Paris. The quote mentioned on the plaque is from a letter that he wrote to Elisabeth, the princess of Bohemia in 1648.

The quotation is this:

"Me tenant comme je suis, un pied dans un pays et l’autre en un autre, je trouve ma condition très heureuse, en ce qu’elle est libre."

Which translated means this, "Staying as I am, one foot in one country and the other in another, I find my condition very happy/ very fortunate, in that it is free."

Somehow, I find it interestingly apt.

much love,

me.

Two years later

2011-10-04T14:46:00.000-07:00

I am writing this to tell everyone- at least leave it out there for someone to find in case... well, just in case.

I just made a cup of hot chocolate. It is a very good cup of chocolate; thick and creamy as it should be. The chocolate is not too sweet, not too bitter and as I am opinionated, in my opinion, it is as it should be. It is a steaming cup of hot chocolate. With steam and creaminess and a thick liquid gold like texture. I have obviously run out of ways of how to describe this absolutely glorious cup of hot chocolate. You should know, however, that it is a glorious cup and that I am very happy.

Now why do I tell you this? You might be perplexed. I'll tell you why. I'm afraid that the milk was a tad bit yellow before I made it. Not sunshine yellow or golden ochre yellow. There was just a tinge of yellow. It was almost lemon yellow. I actually left it out for days. I didn't think it'd be hot here but unfortunately the temperature (without any prior warning) rose to about 30 degrees. I left the milk out for days in that heat. And earlier during the day, since today was colder, I had a cup of coffee. I have a slight stomach ache now but I'm still drinking the cup of steaming hot not-too-bitter, not-too-sweet hot chocolate. Did I tell you that it is delicious? It is delicious.

Know that I am happy and that I do not blame the milk. Which was not sour, but just slightly yellow.

A great food memory

2011-06-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

The kitchen was tiny- unsurprising, considering the shoe-box size of the apartment itself. I stood watching, almost huddled in the corner besides the water filter as he jumped and pirouetted from end to end, whisking things off the shelves. With a wave of his hand, he placed them on the counter, as if to say voilà! He was French after all, so I didn’t think him pretentious.

Last off the shelves came the heavy double boiler. He hoisted it off without too much trouble. Kaplonk! It landed on the stove. He turned and smiled at me, unembarrassed by his flailing arms and wild mannerisms.

And as he worked, he sang in a loud falsetto. His melody was familiar; I had heard it late one evening, when I was walking down an empty street. I remember stopping in my tracks, afraid of the voice reverberating through the streets. Until I saw him sail by on his bicycle, his head bobbing from side to side like a buoy in turbulent water.

He told me he loved opera and began to sing in baritone. I smiled and watched as he ripped open the carton of couscous and poured the contents into the pot. He continued to converse with me as he cooked, giving me more attention than his pièce de résistance. In, went the water. With a chop, chop, chop, the vegetables were taken care of and dunked into the pot. I stood, watching in awe and amazement. He swiveled the big wooden spoon around twice and placed the lid on the pot. In ten minutes, he said, the water would be absorbed by the couscous.

“Now, what would you like to drink?” he asked, ever the gracious host.

“Anything” I responded, always unfussy.

He ceremoniously swiped a wine glass off the shelf and filled it with some Alsace Muscat. (“People like Muscat- its sweet.”) Smiling victoriously after I expressed my agreement, he lifted the lid of the pot. In his right hand he held a heaped tablespoon of curry powder.

“No!” I cried. But it went in anyway.

You can’t reason with a madman.

Progress Report A: Secret project, ‘why can’t we be friends?’

2011-04-28T00:23:00.000-07:00

A foreword on the following:

The following was written with the intention of being a commentary on neocolonialism, entrenching the politico-cultural process in the social phenomenon that plagues exchange students worldwide. It was intended to be a humorous perspective ridiculing the contrived understanding of diplomacy of large northern organizations attempting to enhance their soft power. I didn't intend it to be a report of human progress in the realm of friendship, though if that is what you infer, I won't hold it against you.

Note: In the words of French Renaissance writer Michel de Montaigne, or as I know him better; Anonymous, "Nothing is more firmly believed than what we least know."

s.c.

2011 (almost a whole two years later)

----

Progress Report A: Secret project, ‘Why can’t we be friends?’

Date: 30.09.09

Location: Paris

Objective: To include in our contacts a vast number of global subjects, to create and establish relations with such associates, to do what we call ‘make friends’.

A great deal of progress was made today on the ongoing project, and it is estimated that by the deadline (30^th June, 2010), the desired target shall be reached.

12.30 pm- 2.00 pm: The first task that we undertook was to establish ourselves in the French Level 0 class. This area was a good place to begin with, as the people here would have similar stance about being in a country that does not speak the English language. Immediately, on entering, we began conversations with other Asian people, with whom, we believe there might be a sense of solidarity and similarity, points that we hope will foster a bright future together. The subjects, 하나 (Girl) and 두 (Boy) are from South Korea, and specifically originate from the 세 university. The French level 0 class, unfortunately did not happen, and the class slowly exited the room. We tried to maintain contact with the subjects, continuing to research their past and present, hopes and dreams, and habitation in this new environment. We tried to create a bond by declaring the French bureaucracy vastly inefficient and the French banking system far worse.

In order to present ourselves as an approachable entity, we decided that we would suggest a picnic on the lawns. This act had a double purpose to both present ourselves as humble and also, simultaneously as one who understands the traditions of the great educational institution of which we were so lucky to be present in.

Subjects, those who have been in the same arena as others have a tendency to do what we describe as ‘socializing’. These subjects were inextricably linked to yet another subject, by the name of Fatt, who was also a member of the French Level 0 group of pupils. Fatt hailed from the southern continent of Australia, and our organization believes that he may not be the right type to incorporate in our group. His mannerisms were similar to that of a dog with a bone, an analogy that we sometimes use to describe a ‘show-off’. It strikes us that white-skin might go deeper than skin-deep. We are yet to attest this theory, and hope not to make judgment calls before we can come face to face with other similar subjects. We are still open to the idea of white skin. Conversations continued with these three subjects, until subject C (Fatt) called upon another person, Glorius (or something of the sort) a girl from Columbia, but pursuing her studies in North America. In terms of characteristics, she barely had any, and only future meetings can determine what exactly the subject represents.

Once the picnicking was over, and contact was established, we felt that a necessary ‘breather’/’break’ was in order, in order to embed ourselves (just the correct amount) in their subconscious, but not make it over flow, possibly with negative thoughts (clinginess). We departed and took our separate ways. Tomorrow, we have yet another class, and although this one is very early in the day, we hope to make new progress and perhaps continue the witty repartee.

5. 30 pm: The process continued on into the class titled ‘Spaces and Territories: the analysis of a hyperpower’. We approached the classroom and detected that the class was full. Our target was to continue relations with a French national, with whom we had made limited contact in the week prior to this. We scanned efficiently the area, to seek out prospective ‘seating arrangements’ that would fit into our plan. We were both highly successful, and lucky, as the ‘seat’ next to hers proved empty. We launched ourselves in to a prime position, at striking distance from the target. An opening greeting was necessary, and we complied. The subject, had however seated herself on the left of a known but disliked entity, for her accent and snooty/snotty-ness, DevilMonopolizer. The latter had also monopolized the use of the sole plug-point, -an object greatly necessary in defining our seating arrangements and recharging our ordinaters. Though we did not wish to establish contact with this being, we were forced to as this monopoly was affecting our system of being, and hampering our self-sufficiency. At times, we feel though that we can act as the US would with countries that it considers to be ‘rogue’, with superior diplomacy. We however, do not take pride in this policy. A kind request was made to the monopolizer, requesting the equal share of the plug-point. Monopolizer acted in accordance with our demands, making us feel a little less demoralized about compromising on our standpoint. The course of action continued smoothly, making intelligent conversation, swaying the subject onto our side. The Monopolizer was also swayed, as one could perceive, and perhaps we could use this subject as an ally for our future projects, much rather like the US utilizes Pakistan. The class continued and at the end, we managed to procure for ourselves an important rendezvous with the subject. We hope to continue on this fine line of progress and reach our target well before scheduled, as it is in our best interest.

It is necessary to note: Successive reports on our actions will be continued to be delivered to you, as we realize and understand that this matter is of great interest. We promise you that in spite of our recruitment of new subjects, and the enlargement of our entity, this will not test the loyalty that we possess towards you, our founding contacts. So you must bear in mind that this will simply give us a more cosmopolitan outlook, and perhaps global habitation outposts and settlements.

Development studies

2011-04-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

Part I : What led me to Britney

A nostalgic Sunday morning often leaves you reflecting on bygone eras. In turn, this in depth retrospection often leads to blaring music that is in tune with the mood of the hour. This in most cases leads to Britney Spears.

Britney Spears is quite the star. She definitely broke the mold of female artists in the 90s and sort of paved the way for the Miley Cyruses that there are today. She’s right up there with things that accelerated a cultural revolution- the internet, facebook and reality shows. She’s so widely accepted that I don’t even get any spell check options when I type her name.

i. The inner workings of teenage girls

Good lyrics are often compared (if rightly so- I’m not to judge) to good poetry. The Beatles were renowned for it- barring their initial not-so-deep ‘I wanna hold your hand’ kind of stuff. Lyrics can make or break you and usually the bands that do well are the ones that are able to truly express themselves through the verses of their songs. Today’s Britney-shame-spiral left me analyzing her lyrics. Her lyrics coupled with her robotic-hypnotic, yet bubble gummy and hence ironic voice characterized her and differentiated her from all other contemporary acts. Teenage girls everywhere were thinking- ‘Boy! She really gets me!’ But what was unusual about these lyrics that exemplified universal feelings of angst, love and confusion among teenage girls, was that there the degree of personal-ness about them. I mean to say, thus, that though these feelings are quite universal amongst most girls between ages thirteen to seventeen, what was really interesting was the transparency of her thoughts, making it apparent that she was going through this odd phase as well.

ii. Lyricists

Panning her evolution as an artist is most fascinating especially when you place it in the context of the struggles she was facing in her personal life. The lyrics of selected songs from her first three albums that really reflected this caught my attention. Interestingly, majority of these songs are credited to Max Martin and Rami Yacoub and not Britney herself. I’m not an expert on the degree of artistic freedom she had at the age of seventeen when her first single was released, but taking a wild guess, I’d say not too much; evidence of which is her rebellious breakthrough a few years later. Despite that, Martin and Yacoub did try to keep the lyrics as close to Britney’s personal feelings as possible and the songs composed by them do seem to reflect her inner thoughts. Britney said it herself in an interview with the Rolling Stones in 2001 “He (Martin) gets exactly what I am saying when I tell him what I want and don’t want musically." And she continued to stand by this statement a decade later concurring that "There is nobody I feel more comfortable collaborating with in the studio."

Part II: Psychoanalysis

Britney has always been an interesting character to analyze. It’s probably because, as aforementioned, she was one of the first stars that really grew up in the limelight, enabling fans and the general public to track her evolution as a human being. When she first appeared on the scene, with her video “Baby one more time” she came across as cutesy at the most, typical of a good girl. An interesting fact that adds a third dimension to that video is this- the producers initially wanted it to be animated, an idea that Britney rejected, proposing instead the idea of the naughty catholic school girl. It is thus clear that her current ‘womanizing’ tendencies were somewhere embedded in that sweet teenage girl the world saw in 1999. David Browne of Entertainment Weekly got it right. He perceived that while “Christina Aguilera may flash skin and belly button, but in her music and manner, she's too eager not to offend — she's a good girl pretending to be bad. Spears, however, comes across as a bad girl acting good ...”

Supporting this theory was her behavior during tours when she became criticized for her racy outfits. They contrasted heavily from her bubble gummy videos.

i. Oops I did it Again: I = Producers (1999-2001)

Britney concedes that ‘Baby one more time’ was part of the ‘massive hits’ that allowed her to gather legions of fans. Her artistic freedom was limited to what the producers thought would make international hits. In ‘Oops I did it again!’( released in 2000), the first signs of what can be seen as perhaps artistic unhappiness are reflected in the lyrics of single ‘Lucky’ released the same year. The verses and video revolve around a discontented star with the lyrics “They say she’s so lucky/ she’s a star/ but she cry, cry, cries till the early hour/ thinking/‘if there’s nothing, missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?”. In ‘Stronger’ released a few months later, Britney appeared “Stronger than yesterday”, singing further that, “There’s nothing you can do or say/ I’ve had enough/You think I won’t make it on my own/ but now I’m stronger than yesterday/Now it’s nothing but my way/my loneliness ain’t killing me like before/stronger than i ever thought I be”. The song seemed almost like a rebuttal to Lucky and was perhaps her first lash out at the constant scrutiny that she was being placed under. I also think there is a hint of backtalk to some of her producers who were intent on making her stick to the good girl image that she had developed.

ii. Britney is overprotected (2001- 2003)

Her next album was aptly entitled ‘Britney’. For the first time, Britney had a greater hand in composing her songs, thereby allowing the complexities of her thought process to really become public. She sang “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” reflecting her inner struggle of outgrowing her fan-base. She pleaded further- “all I need is time, a moment that is mine while I’m in between.” In “Overprotected” she lashed out for the second time, “You're gonna have to see through my perspective/ I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am/ And I don't want to be so damn protected", mainly exclaiming about being over judged by everyone around her.

From the start of her illustrious career up till this point in 2003, Britney’s private life was under the eye of the public. Her relationship with Justin Timberlake (and its woes) was constantly publicized, which (I feel) allowed her no privacy. Personally I believe that this is what led her to her breakdown- the fact that she was pressurized by record labels to produce things that were alien to her artistic interests while struggling to grow up while the world watched as a witness. She always had a rebellious streak in her- signs of which were apparent in the tie-up school shirt in her first video itself- and during this period, the rebelliousness rose up inside of her.

This phase also saw the end of a four year relationship with fellow pop icon Justin Timberlake. A ‘war’ followed, akin to the hip-hop rivalry between East coast ‘The Notorious B.I.G.’ and West Coast ‘Tupac’. (Perhaps this analogy borders on blasphemic?)

The video of the single released by Timberlake, ‘Cry me a river’, featured a blonde Britney look-alike while Timberlake proceeded to wreck the former’s house, singing “Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn/To cry, cry me a river."

Apart from post-relationship rivalries with Timberlake, Britney was also often pitted against former blonde-haired contemporary, Christina Aguilera. Eventually however, the two pop idols shifted tracks following their own creative paths, moving out of the squeaky clean pop songs that had created them. The two even had a chance to publicly kiss and make up during the 2003 MTV music awards.

iii. Britney is In The Zone (2003 onwards)

My psychoanalysis of Britney concludes with her 2003 album entitled ‘In the Zone’. Critics state that Britney moved out of the in-between phase that she was facing two years previously and became, for the first time, a full-fledged woman in the eyes of the world. Her music was far more electronic, her videos much more risqué and both were comprehensively ‘sexual’. In an interview with Rolling Stones in 2003, Britney explained her album, stating that “this record is where I am at right now in my life. It's sensual, it's sexual. I'm probably writing about that subconsciously because I don't have that right now."

Thus with In the Zone, Spears had finally moved into the realm of adulthood, leaving behind the braided and skirted schoolgirl that she had started out as. What followed the album release was one annulled marriage, another marriage a year later that ended in divorce, two children, a reality television show and weeks of rehab. Britney had moved into The Zone, and steadily out of it as well. The most fascinating thing about this was that it was all reflected in her music and under the public’s watchful eye.

How positively strange!

2011-04-05T23:46:00.000-07:00

A short film about betrayal

2011-04-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

Work

2010-11-29T03:47:00.000-08:00

People in India: Section 1

2010-11-27T00:30:00.000-08:00

I think the probability of meeting strange people is considerably higher in India.

An explanation of the Universal Hand Gesture for Anytime Use: A step-by-step guide

Step 1: Extend hand and index finger at something that you are confused by/perturbed by/curious about/is white and point regularly, i.e. in a manner that you would point at anything. (Like for instance, when you see superman in the sky, you would (normally) point and say, "is it a bird? is it a plane?" Until some idiot says- "No it's superman!" (and kills your flow). So the point that you would use there, you should point like that.

Step 2: This is a very critical step that completes your anytime hand gesture, especially useful while making conversation with white people. In order to do this, you must warm up your wrist beforehand so as to prevent any sort of wrist-whiplash as a result of the sudden jerky movement. This step is similar to the Indian dance move 'screw on the light bulb'. Okay. Are you Ready now?

From the pointing index finger, snap your wrist (towards the right if its your left hand and towards the left if its your right hand) like you are turning a bulbous door knob!

It must be done super fast and the finshing position must have your pinky finger pointing at you, thumb stretched out and pointing outwards (to the right if using your right hand and to the left if using your left hand) and the remaining fingers following the same curve.

Et voila! There you have it- a universal hand gesture guaranteed to be comprehensible to anyone!

Tips

This hand gesture can be accompanied by the nodding of the head in motion with the hand movement while the lips should form an 'O' to ensure best results.

**Please refer to the badly drawn diagram above in case of any doubts.

A Hundred Rupees

2010-11-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

was a lot of money. It could buy me

200 Hajmola candies (the imli ones) or 100 Hajmola digestive tablets.

or 50 Fusen chewing gums

or 20 sticks of cotton candy

or 10 cadbury minibars

or 10 packets of chips ( or 20 packets of Fun Flips)

or 10 chocobars or 20 cola bars. Limchus and Orange bars back in the day.

or 5 trips to tuitions at munirka

or 5 Chicken McGrills.

Birthdays are awesome

2010-10-27T06:15:00.001-07:00

Please view 'Make Sabira have a happy life foundation' for further details.

Smiley faces now a part of punctuation

2010-10-26T02:03:00.000-07:00

Punctuation: punk-chew-ey-shun, defined as the use of symbols not belonging to the alphabet to indicate aspects of intonation and meaning otherwise not conveyable by the written language.

Scientists have noticed a growing trend of modern day language-users littering their writing with symbols that resemble basic facial expressions when looked at from afar to provide insight into the feelings of the writer. A commonly used example of these 'symbolic facial expressions' that are simply called 'smiley faces' (irrespective, one should note, of whether the facial expression symbolically demonstrated is indeed a smile or not) is ':)' (without the single inverted commas). A symbol like that is a simple smile (noticeable when one turns their head to the left) that reflects happiness on the part of the user. A more effusive user would indulge in ":D", a grinny face, as when you cock your head to the left, the face appears as if it is grinning. The English rule-makers have proposed updating the rules of punctuation to include these symbolic faces. An excerpt from the official announcement on the rule-makers website explained the reasons for this inclusion: "We believe that English is an evolving language and must not remain static. The constitution of punctuation is amenable to amendment and so there is no reason for argumentation over the incorporation. :) "

However, smiley faces do not seem to be universal all round; the announcement has evoked a mixed response. Supporters of the movement are pushing for revision of the classics, with edits in the punctuation to include the smiley faces. Janies Gottagun, a 16 year old pointed out the utility of this new method of punctuation. "I will no longer be confused while reading Macbeth if punctuation includes smiley faces. If after each paragraph the publishers/editors include either a ':(' or a ':)', I will be able to follow the text more closely." Critics however, included author Dan Brown of Da Vinci Code fame who was not sure how he felt about this change. "I'm not sure about how I feel. :/", he tweeted.

Dear Javier,

2010-10-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

I've been back home about a couple of months now and I was sitting and thinking about how mighty odd it is that you left before me and that you never told me you were leaving either. I thought I mentioned that I would be leaving in about a month and I thought that if you knew you were leaving at the time, you would've told me. I hope nothing bad happened. I started googling you a little bit just to see if I could find anything, a sort of clue to your disappearance. My mum thinks that you're one of those children born in the prison cells in the dirty war and you were adopted by the people who killed your parents. I got into deep research about that and I started reading about this guy called Alejandro Pedro Sandoval. With the internet you can really document everything and thats what he did- he has a blog (in spanish, though) about the entire episode when he didn't know how to feel about his supposed parents being murderers and then how he acquired a whole new family but he didn't know them. Its interesting, but since I have to google translate it, a lot of the stuff gets lost in translation and sounds really strange. Like this sentence for instance- "that some of them I am coffee and is as of we knew of cradle to cradle" which is the google translation of "de con algunas de ellos me siento a tomar café y es como si nos conociéramos de cuna a cuna" makes absolutely no sense to me. That's sort of the sad thing with languages- its really really hard to translate sentiment. It makes me sad when I think about it because I may never be able to read Neruda in the language that he wrote. (Not that I read Neruda, or Marquez but still.)
Which makes me think.. did you ever finish reading War and Peace? Thats another reason why I'm kind of inclined to believe that you were one of those war kids. The speed at which you were reading that book was rather unhealthy.
I went back to the café to see if you had left any contact number but noone could tell me anything. Not even Adi, who I never said goodbye to properly because I thought I'd return the next day.
I sometimes wonder whether I just imagined you- and you were just this figment of my imagination that I'd developed as a sort of survival mechanism in Paris. I'll explain- I would always come running straight to Le pain quotidien the second I felt even a little bit homesick. I'd listen to Rashid sing and you bicker during which you guys would feed me those delicious pain au chocolat and I'd pretend to do french homework while secretly just feeling happy about being fed lots of croissants for free. Haha. It seems like a sort of imaginary friend I'd have- a friendly South American waiter who gives me free food. Mmm those croissants were delicious too. I remember the first bag you gave me. (I still can't believe you thought I was twelve, by the way. I thought you were twenty though, I should add.) Yes, back to the bag. I went home and ate it ALL at once. The escargot with the custard filling and the little raisins, the gaufre sucré and the baguette. ALL at once. And then I plopped myself down on a chair with a satisfied little grin. I would have lay upside down like cookie does when she's really full, except that the floor was kind of dirty.
And for the record, I never used to take you up on your offer of coming on sundays to get bread because I didn't want you to think that I was just using you for the food. Because I wasn't.
Anyway, I hope you did reach home safe and that you fixed what you had to. I'm still trying to figure out what to do from here on, but it might lead me back to Paris. I hope it does. Maybe if you're still at Le Pain Quotidien, I'll drop by.
much love,
me.

Love

2010-10-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

If I fast for someone, it would have to be true love.

9021Oh

2010-10-05T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm always a bit embarrassed to admit what I really watch on television and what kind of movies I watch when I'm bored. Contrary to how I usually make it out to be, I don't always sit back and relax with a good Almodovar film unless, of course, it has Gael in it. I mean, I do enjoy a good arty sort of film every once in a way with subtitles provided that they aren't making me do eye aerobics, to put it politely. But that is a rare occassion, especially these days when I'd rather just watch some mindless entertainment. (Emotional aatyachar is high up on my list currently. Boy, I'm tainting my reputation and I couldn't give a damn!)

What I have watched (religiously?) is 90210. I started watching it just to see what the big deal was about. I was born in the generation a little after Beverly Hills 90210, so I was never really a part of all that hype - though I secretly thought Jason Pries(t?)ly was kinda cute in a backstreet boyish sorta way. 90210 is a spin-off, but I'm yet to find its Jason Priestly.

90210 is a drama, centred around the lives of a bunch of high school kids in California. They started out with about five but they keep adding characters that I'm losing track. I don't know if its supposed to be realistic, but if this is what the lives of kids in Beverly Hills were like, I'd be a bit worried. I'm going to run you through each of the characters- just so you get what I mean. There are spoilers, and so if you're not up to date with the seasons you might get mighty annoyed. But don't say I didn't warn you.

I'll begin with Annie. She was supposed to be the equivalent of Brenda Walsh- new kid who moved to new school, sweet, nice- basically pretty blah. In the first few seasons her biggest problems were how to get people to like her, make friends, get a role in a play which was all really boring and I thought was a waste of precious screen time. But then, she got interesting. She killed a guy, was accused of messing around with her best friend's boyfriend, had a nude picture of herself sent around school, got a stalker boyfriend who was the nephew of the guy she killed who tried to kill himself as well, and now she's selling her eggs. (What does that mean? I'll find out next Tuesday.) Then there's Dixon, Annie's adopted brother who is an African American. He started out slow like Annie, but then got himself a mental girlfriend Silver (who I will discuss later) who took a porn video of them and screened it to a large audience after which he dumped her and pretended to be older to date an older girl, who pretended to be pregnant to get him back once they'd broken up. Then on the side, he found his birth mother, fought with his adopted mother, gambled away his father (seriously!), and I think he's HIV positive now. This next episode is going to be explosif. Oh and in the meantime, their parents have split up because the mother kissed some guy and the father lost his job as principal- which is why they moved in the first place.

Turning our attention to Silver. She was dating Dixon but I think she kissed some other guy so they broke up. Or maybe it was because of the screening. I really have forgotten. Anyway, she's bipolar so she switched to a catholic school, but that couldn't really help much. She lives with her sister who's never present and her mum just died of breast cancer. Then she dated this guy Teddy who used to be a player but then totally (yes, totally!) fell for her but now he's gay. Apart from all of that, she's a pretty together young lady, hosting charity benefits for breast cancer and hoping to win a pulitzer prize for journalism. I think she's the only one who actually has some aspirations. She's off and on (friends, that is) with this girl Naomi who I'm going to analyze next. Naomi is super rich. But she has a really mean sister. Her mean sister took away all her money, but now that Naomi's 18 she got it back. Her mean sister also slept with the love of her life, Liam. (who Annie happens to have a thing with now- him and his half brother, but thats another story in development). Of course, Liam couldn't tell Naomi that and so Annie was accused of it. (This is all before Liam and Annie actually happened, now they've been given permission by Naomi, so thats all okay.) But Naomi got him back, only to realize that he wasn't the love of her life. In between, when they were dating, she lost him because she pretended to be sexually assualted by this teacher- who, by the way, eventually got his revenge by actually raping her. She was also the one who sent the nude text of Annie around. I guess they're even now (since Annie has systematically stolen two of her boyfriends) and that's why they're still best friends. Its kind of sweet actually.
Adrianna is the last girl who completes the quartet. She used to be a drug addict who got pregnant and had to give up her child but now she's alright because she's a big pop star. I thought it usually happens the other way around. She's dating Navid, on whom (lets be honest), I have NOTHING! (Apart from the fact that he's a rich iranian??) In the middle they broke up and she went through a 'no man is better than Navid' phase so she dated a woman instead. Then she dated an international pop star before dumping him to go back to loser low-life Navid. The international pop star then died in a car accident, while Adrianna was in the car and just after he told her that she'll never make it as a musician and that all the awesome songs of the world were in his secret book. She then stole his songs and has proceeded to being blackmailed by his uncle.

Apart from the girls, the other main characters I'm missing out on are Ivy and Liam. They're both pretty bad ass. Ivy's a surfer chick who's mum is a music agent person and she's cool and says things like dude and she wears baggy t shirts, but she's still kind of hot (to Dixon). Liam's this broody hunk who we don't know too much about. He's kind of mysterious and trouble seems to follow him wherever he goes. He stole some coins from his step dad's collection, who kicked him out. He built a whole boat in anger and he used to be a drag queen. No sorry, I mean a drag racer. Though if he was a drag queen I'd totally understand why he's so broody. He has a terrible temper. But he's smart.

The last semi-prominent character is Mr. Ryans. He's the english teacher, sports coach, token cool-teacher-that-connects-with-the kids in these high school soap operas rolled into one. I kind of see why the kids are messed up when they have such a terrible example. He got drunk/stoned on prom night (I think) and set the school on fire by driving off in some school bus thing. He also got Naomi's big mean sister knocked up and she won't let him near her. But that failed, because now she can't move. Interesting...they'll make her a paraplegic, perhaps. The show still needs to explore physically handicapped characters, which would be a divergence from the usual crazy (read: mentally incapactitated) people.

Actually, come to think of it, 90210's complicated plots, strong women, intense drama makes it not too drastically different from Almodovar's films. (YUH, SUE ME for saying so.) It just lacks subtitles, coloured filters, decent cinematographers... and a transvestite. (Do I speak too soon?)
But even in 90210 all the women are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Dinner Dilemma

2010-08-07T04:23:00.000-07:00

I'm going to cook dinner tonight. I'm out of ideas though and somehow I can't seem to think of anyway to make pork chops- which are ordinarily super easy to do and I don't ever have to think about it too much.

I want dessert. Maybe a cake. Actually, yes, a cake because yesterday I was watching the ultimate cake off where they were baking these giant five-foot car-shaped cakes and then I got really hungry because I wanted to eat it all and there, where I was sitting, was a little pool of drool. I want to make the chops in the texan barbeque style, thanks to yet another tv show I was watching called food paradise. On this episode they were showcasing the best ribs that america has to offer. I had said, earlier, that I never had any reason to travel there, but I was wrong.

My biggest problem this evening is that I can't figure out what should accompany these pork chops. I mean apart from the cake that is. (Which will be light and spongy, if you must know.) I mean if I go for a slightly sweetish marinade, then how can I possibly accompany it with potatoes? And if I stick to a basic pork chop (with a dry spice rub) then won't that be a bit boring? I'm all for the real meaty flavour and not disguising it and all that, but what if the meat just isn't that great? And should I make a sauce to accompany it? Like a piquant one that Gordon Ramsay suggests? But here again, I have another problem- should it be sweet or savory or simply complimentary like a bearnaise?

Boy. I never stressed this much before. Anyway, I guess I'll post details of the final product later, and I hope it turns out alright.

Go on, do something

2010-02-08T09:13:00.001-08:00

SUBSCRIBE NOW! A WISE INVESTMENT!

2009-08-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

A FREE SAMPLE!

2009-04-07T13:22:00.001-07:00

Select the white box to reveal hidden message!

This is especially for children!

Is it weird that the only other person awake right now is my hamster?

I reluctantly log out.

Almost Confidential

2009-04-07T12:19:00.000-07:00

If you applied the six-degrees of separation theory on me, you would know all my secrets.

Someone else's Special

2009-04-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is for you. You- you know.

She's tall, dark. Very handsome.
He's dark.

End of story?
Not quite.
It keeps ending, never happily ever after. And then restarting, never happily ever after.
We want to bang their heads together, until she's disillusioned enough to think she's pretty, and he gets out of Lucy in the sky with diamonds. No gunmen, okay?

I don't need to know. I don't need to see.

Far Apart

2009-04-07T11:29:00.000-07:00

"I can't connect."
"With me or the internet?"

Pause to think.

Happy Birthday!

2008-06-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

So its been a year since I started the blog.
and I didn't even know.
Even though this is slightly delayed, I have decided that I must have a guest blog from one of my voracious readers, somebody who's been with us right from the start, to celebrate a year of wonderfully rubbish writing.

I invite.. erm.. The person does not wished to be named. But i can assure you, that it is a separate person, and not an alter ego/multiple personality.

*****

" The Belly rules the Mind has kept me thoroughly entertained, right from the start. On nights, when i could not sleep, i knew what would keep company. And so i turned to it..

The blog is a work of a true genius, a literary masterpiece, bound to become one of the classics of our times. It is a commentary on life, interwoven with the personal perspective of a being whose intellect is far greater than we can comprehend. Yet the author, she remains as modest as a clam, often indulging in humour beneath her level, to include a wider audience.

It can be compared to a delectable desert, with an essence of sweet vanilla, a dash of tart lime, a crisp bottom crust, and a palatable smooth inside that leaves you wanting more after every bite.

The statistics, a repetitive article, keeps us abreast with the latest figures and research done in a variety of fields. Often they are startling, but nonetheless provide us with abundant information on the latest trends.

The food sections with its brilliant photography make me salivate. Though this has caused me a little humiliation and ruined my clean reputation, I cannot think of a compliment more flattering. Public embarassment is a little price to pay in order to give credit that the work deserves.

But the blog is not just catered towards entertainment and enjoyment. It has a charitable section that looks to keep people happy, by keeping one happy. I applaud the efforts taken, and hope that this will be adopted as a model for others.

I cannot think of anything else to say, but The Belly rules the Mind, rules my mind. On its first anniversary, I wish it continual inspiration, with very little perspiration."
- The critic is a renowned Journalist, Winner of two Noblog prizes for literature.

photograph source: Things baked by Sabira Coelho

Things I probably will not do

2008-06-24T09:18:00.000-07:00

After much thought, I've reconciled myself to the fact that there are a couple of things that probably just will not be able to do in my lifetime, in spite of really wanting to. It makes me incredibly sad, sometimes.. but at least i no longer live in denial and false hope.
The list is-

Climb a mountain
Play football for the country
Win a Michelin star
Sing in key
Travel to the moon
Hold a lizard
Become a Vegetarian
Be a guerrilla (specifically, the zapatista army. But then again, they've been relatively non-violent off late.)
Make the perfect brownies
Roque SantaCruz

But on the other hand, I might still be able to live in Mexico, open up a quaint little cafe with delightful food at very good prices, run a marathon and.. ahem.. Gael Garcia Bernal.

Word.

2008-05-05T00:39:00.000-07:00

Cowabunga! (And it needs to be followed up with a deep low throated du-ude.)

I have tried this on for size quite a few times, but unfortunately it just doesn't seem to fit. In my head you either have to be a scraggly blond wearing flowery-Hawaiian surfer shorts (or/and surfing) to say it.
Or you could be a teenage mutant ninja turtle.
I'm neither of the two. So I've given up now.

Yowza!

I never understood the context in which one could use this word. Is it a greeting? Or an exclamation? Is it an exclamation of surprise or of joy? Or of anger?
I once said "Yowza" in response to "Aren't the tea and scones lovely today?". I got the timing wrong that time too.

Booyakasha

I often confuse booyakasha with shabooyayaya (which, incidently was the cheerleading chant in bring it on.) If you're with real Jamaicans, they'd never let you live it down.
But there's something fundamentally wrong with the way i pronounce the word. I say it like an old English dignified gentleman would say it. "Boo-yah-kasha" Similar to "Well hello to you too. What a lovely evening it is"
Funnily enough, the root of the word is English/Irish. It comes from "Buíochas" (pronounced bwee ah kuss) which mean "glory to" "or praise be" as in "buíochas le Dia" which means "thanks be to god". Oliver Cromwell sent thousands of Irish to the plantations in Jamaica, and a lot of Irish (or Gaelic as non Irish people know it) words made it in to Jamaican patois. Hence Booyakasha.

Rastafarian Maan!

Okay. So Bob Marley did impact me considerably.
This one was a personal invention.
It was meant to mean cool, in a Rastafarian way.
I only realised later that the word I invented, nobody understood.
And the word i was looking for was Rastafabulous!
Rastafarian refers to the religion/movement/dreadlocks.
So i stopped saying it, but i stuck with the "ya maan".
But that didn't work either because people thought i was incredibly interested
in the political/economic/any situation in Yemen.

So I've stopped saying all these things. Yes, I no longer fake the funk.

Sunny Afternoon

2008-05-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

The Dalai Lama came over for lunch the other day. The day was sunny, but not hot. A cool breeze moved through the open courtyard.
The smell of food cooking wafted through.
He wasn't too pleased with the colour of the walls though. The custard yellow clashed terribly with his outfit. I was quite apologetic for that. I don't like angering world spiritual and political leaders. It was awfully silly of me to not have thought about repainting them. I guess I really need to work on my planning.
I served him tender wild duck in a piquant sauce.
The chunks were rather succulent,
and I knew I had truly outdone myself this time.
He served himself.
I was waiting for his face to light up and for him to turn to me and pat me on the back and exclaim to the Gods.
He didn't. He hmmed instead.
A hmm can be interpreted in many ways. It could be satisfied, far from satisfied, and sometimes even angry (well, that's if it sounds more like a harrumph). I was confused.
But he is a man who truly understands his people, and he caught on.

"The sauce..Its missing a hint of dijon mustard..I had the perfect damson in new york. I can't remember the name of the place for the life of me.. But it was shiny.
Minimalistic, i believe is what they call it nowadays.
It was one of those michelin star places. Oh you should go there."

"Quite an epicurean you are Dalai" I laughed it off.
He leaves his haven of momos and suddenly he's a food critic.
I was in a bit of a dilemma now. I knew i had to rescue the afternoon with some pleasant conversation. I'm not very good at it.
I decided to discuss politics and to get him a bit riled up about the world situation.

"So, Mr. Lama.. Politics..huh?"

"Oh no, dear. Who's interested in saving the world nowadays. It's certainly not my concern. Hahaha. But.. Let me tell you about Paris.."

"Paris! Its lovely in the spring time.."
I was hoping my little witty intervention would make me sound cleverer to him. And then he, too, would indulge in some witty repartee.

"She, dear. She really is. Such glowing skin! That's one person quite intent on saving the world, I say. And what a job she's doing at it! A pat on the back for her, and two thumbs up too!"

"That Paris. Right, Of course." I mumbled this though, so he didn't hear it. He doesn't always catch on.

"Have you heard of that new director? He's casting Paris! I'm rather overjoyed for her. I believe he's poised to become the new Antonioni. Or Bergman. Or perhaps a combination of the two! I loved that film.. The sixth.. no, no Seventh Seal, was it?
What skill with the camera. A real delight! Sommarlek, That was quite a gem as well.."

"Oh really?"

"Oh phenomenal! You have to watch.."
I was lost by now.
The sauce was piquant enough for me.
Perhaps a touch of dijon mustard could have added that little bit of zing.
I'll have to work on that next time. My thoughts drifted.
I have John Lennon coming over next week. He says he wants to give peace a chance. Let's see.

Buy me a Bugatti

2008-03-28T02:55:00.000-07:00

But Not Just ANY one

The T57SC Atlantic, Erik Koux replica.

“The steering is positive, and amazingly low effort, partially because of a very large steering wheel. The brakes are smooth and progressive. Handling and roadholding are about what you'd expect from a 1938 car with skinny tires and positively cambered front wheels.”

David E. Davis, Jr.
Automobile Magazine

I believe it costs about $ 1,600,000. Or a little more, because they're rather rare.
But- I'm not picky about the colour. You can surprise me. :)

So make your bids. Contact me, you know the procedure.

Because i must

2008-03-28T02:39:00.001-07:00

So my procrastination skills just seem to get better every single time. Well at least I'm getting better at something.
----

Anyway, i was on wikipedia (it is god, and yes, i do do that a lot.) and i was looking up inane stuff that would never ever benefit me, especially not during these darn exams. I was looking up silly things.. diseases, random places, cartoon characters etc. etc. etc.
Off late I've been considering hermitage and becoming a recluse (I've given up wanting to be a guerrilla. Actually..No- I'm working on a combination of the two- a reclusive guerrilla perhaps.) and so i was looking at what exactly that entails.. wikipedia has information on everything!
And then i came across this.. uh.. for lack of a better word 'disease', maybe even 'phenomenon' called hikikomori. It affects 1.2 million people in japan. Thats one percent of their population, so its not entirely insignificant. I was completely fascinated, so i did some more research. It affects all age groups but most significantly teenagers. They lock themselves up in their rooms for hours/days/even months, retreating from society. The 'pressure-cooker' type of society is the main cause for this- the education system has been severely criticised, and so have ambitious parents. The symptoms include an odd sleep pattern- staying up to work late at night and going to sleep early morning, listening to music, surfing the internet.
I am slightly worried now.

ब्लॉग स्पॉट इस गेत्तिंग बेत्टर

2008-03-28T02:35:00.000-07:00

इ कैन टाइप इन हिन्दी। यह बहुत कूल हैं।
यह इतना अमुसिंग हैं। मैंने कभी नही सोचा!

Shock. And trauma?

2008-03-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that michel gondry would direct a film with jack black in it.
I suppose i should
watch it before i
decide,
but it sounds pretty
daft to me. Still in shock. Yes. Shock, and i do not exaggerate.

Insomniac.

2008-02-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

12:01

"So.. Uhmm.. Yes. This is not simply a joke. *Ahem* I mean it is a joke. But all jokes have some basis. I have justified that. The joke is
What do latin americans like to do in their past time?
Football and Revolutions. It is unclear in what order. Hehe. So. As i was saying, in Cuba..."

I ran that by my head a couple of times. And i laughed every time. I also think i'm part latin american.

12:09

2008-01-15T09:40:00.000-08:00

The gayness is getting to me.
I'm now going to stay right here in my little bubble, thankyou very much.

00:00

2008-01-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

"Happpay Neeew Yeearr!"

They hug, kiss, wish each other,dance about,run to the other end of the room.

"Its twelve, its twelve!'"
"YAY. OmiGod!"

"You're five minutes early.."
"Oh."

Tick. Tick. Tick.
Tralalala. Tick.

"Happay Neeew Yeear!"
Sabira serves herself some more chips. Its symbolic.

Lesson One

2008-01-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

Eels really are slippery. They mustn't be allowed to slide out of tanks.
Mice should not be placed on top of cars.
Fish can be suicidal.
Hamster babies should not be confused with chewing gum.
An extremely hot water-heater in an aquarium can boil the fish.
Rabbits should not be dropped on their heads.

I had a momentous childhood. I lack the same pace now.
I have a bunch of exciting stories that you haven't heard.
My pets are in good condition.Do not fear.

A Mental Note

2008-01-15T09:03:00.000-08:00

Certain tactics that never fail when me because I have history. I don't really recommend them to others, but they do seem to work (enough) for me.

When I don't know the answer,I bamboozle them by the utilization of sufficiently large multi-syllabic terms. It impresses them. In my medieval Indian paper, I used the word 'autochthonomous' everywhere! I'm dying to see the results!
If the answer has anything to do with a particular place that has a specific language, use the language. In the history of the USSR paper I used the words 'prodraverstka' and 'glavki' even though I didn't/don't know what they mean. I also threw in a couple of 'Au contraires' to dazzle the extremely knowledgeable professors with my tri-lingual abilities.
Flatter them. All the time. Even when they're not around. You'll begin to give off a very nice vibe that they'll love. This handy tip comes from having years of experience.
Remember a single theory and generalize it. Like the entire proletarian vs. Bourgeoisie concept can be used everywhere! Just say your Marxist if they ask. -Hey! historians do that.
Synonyms. Paraphrasing. Two very important techniques.

Studying is also an option that one mustn't resort to. Except in extreme situations.

2007-12-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

So. I made Pork chops yesterday.

And a creamy cauliflower side dish, which complimented them rather well.

And then i ate.

It turned out nicely, i think, considering it was the first time i'd made pork chops and i put in every possible ingredient i could find. I should have added a little more salt though. The cauliflower looks pretty unappetising because i'm not the best photographer, but i liked the creamy consistency.

This blog is finally beginning to serve some purpose. I can record everything i've made and refer back to it when i need to. I'm not putting up the recipes because I'd rather develop them completely and then sell them to some cookbook and then make millions and then buy a yatch and then sail to the shores of the caribbean where i can buy exotic ingredients and then get richer and then..
But if you really want them. Please comment. (This is such an underhand way of making people comment on this blog. I liiike.)

I call it "Reese's Pieces"

2007-11-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

A pictographic story.

List

2007-11-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

Completely arbitrary list, in random order.
Completely.

Gael Garcia Bernal
Roque SantaCruz
James Dean
Michel Gondry
Holden Caulfield
Che guevara
Sirius Black
Paul Mcartney
Paolo Maldini
Amir khan (the boxer)

*sigh* Thou art how typical.

FYI

2007-11-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

I love wikiHow. I love, love it.
I'm copying and pasting for the benefit of Mr. Kite.. and others, but full credit to the people/person who wrote this.
wikihow is god too.
Try clicking on that random article page, it always throws up fascinating results.
(In particular, the how to be a goth article)

http://www.wikihow.com/Dance-So-People-Stare-at-You

How to Dance So People Stare at You
Some people can dance well. Some people can't. If you want to dance so people stare at you, read on.
Steps

Make sure there is music playing. Otherwise, you'll look even more stupid then you would if there was music
Slowly raise your arms up. Then slowly pull them down.
Spin until you are too dizzy to spin any longer.
Jump with your feet flat on the floor and wait dramatically, as if you are in an action movie.
Do the moonwalk.
Dash across the floor and leap with your arms stretched out. This is called a 'grand jete' or something like that.
Make fists with both hands and alternate moving them up and down.
Make an 'alligator mouth' with both hands and 'snap' them.
Flail your arms around madly and crazily.
By now, people should be staring at you. If they aren't, you have been doing something wrong.
Attempt to do the splits, then cry out in pain when you are about halfway.
Pull yourself up, and do any disco move you desire.
Exit the room.

Tips

Make odd expressions with your face as you are dancing.

If people tell you to stop, tell them you don't ask them to stop dancing when they are enjoying themselves.

Wear a ridiculous costume, such as a skin tight neon bodysuit.

Warnings

When you are flailing your arms around, make sure not to hit anyone, or you could be sued.

If you are in a professional place, you may not want to do this.

*

http://www.wikihow.com/Freak-People-Out
How to Freak People Out
Want to know how to totally freak people out? That is, without being gross? It requires a strange mind, but moreso a lot of bravery... or stupidity.

Steps

Carry objects suspicious to others. Here's a great example: label a suitcase "head", and walk around with it.Or carry around normal things in a suspicious way. Get a cardboard box and fill it with scissors with red food colouring on them (so it looks like blood), and carry them around offering them to people.
Talk on a headset loudly and say wacky things like "no, no...it'll blow before I get there." or "So grandma... what're you wearing?" (and then wink to people standing around)
Be disturbed. You could crouch in the corner of an elevator and stare at the camera. That's only for the people that can keep a straight face (keep your eyes on the camera even if people come in). If there's no camera, face the corner chanting some distorted spell thing.
Pretend to be a psychic. Say you're at McDonald's, look up at the menu for a while (you can even squint) and then lean over to the person next to you in line and say "don't try the fries". Or something like that. Right after that, walk into the restroom casually so the person can't ask why.
Pretend to be a blind person in public then get into a car and drive off. Or follow real close behind people and trip over their feet and say "Oh! sorry, didn't see you there... obviously." (Then make a sad face) You can pretend to really hurt yourself as well, and point angrily in the wrong direction claiming you'll sue. (note: don't trip in front of traffic)
Learn how to do something really cool like juggle fire or chainsaws or throw knives then scare people by juggling over their head.
Sneak up behind people and make bird or animal noises. This one takes imagination!
Fake elaborate seizures. (note: this one isn't very safe at all)
Talk in Shakespearean language.
Get a friend to wear a dark suit, and have them follow you. You can pretend you're on the run from the law or you're Tom Cruise or something.
Put regular candy (that you can swallow safely) into gum wrappers and eat it continually, especially in an elevator or cafe. Then complain that your stomach hurts.
Wear costumes. Great example: get a friend, one of you wear green tights and the other black, and you can be Peter pan and his shadow.
Stage crime scene investigations. Fake bodies and yellow tape can help out here.

Tips

Put lots of time thinking of what to say. you could think of something the day before so you can perfect it when the moment comes.

Once you get experienced you can spot good opportunities and act completely insane on the spot.

These usually work well in crowded areas.

Warnings

Doing this stuff could get you tangled up with security.

Things needed

A random brain

Maybe a few friends (to make sure you stay safe, or help out)

Practice.

*
Please Note: Au contraire to what it may seem like, i do not, did not and have not used any of these tips.

To prevent Tearing

2007-10-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

"I could have used these glasses over the holidays when I had to chop a lot of onions. The goggles have a foam seal that shuts out onion smells and protects your eyes. They also have anti-fog lenses and don't look that unattractive." - person who wants to buy ridiculous looking glasses.
Another advantage that i have noted-
you need not buy those 3-D vision glasses for the upcoming star trek convention.

Another variant of the ever useful kitchen contraption, onion goggles. They come with tiny detachable tea cups, in the rare case that you wish to stop chopping onions and want to sit down for a jolly good cup o' tea with a spot of lemon innit.

Just in Case

2007-10-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

I like

Salt and vinegar chips
Peanut Butter and chocolate cups (Reeses pieces, to be specific)
Gael Garcia Bernal
Liverpool Stuff
Animals
Earrings
Scarves
Cook Books

Well, There's more, but thats all i can remember for now.
The complete title of the entry is called
"just in case you 'accidently' stumbled upon this looking for ideas".

Notice

2007-10-15T07:55:00.001-07:00

I've lost my funny. I haven't thought of/heard a good joke in forever. Contact the 'Make Sabira Have a Happy Life Foundation' on any details regarding the same. Generous gifts (plus the self content of knowing that i'm all peachy, i must add) will follow.

Since i'm on the topic of humour, i may as well clear my stand on repitition. I'm all for it.
Rule 23 (a) When the joke is repeated by the hearer and the original teller is unkown to audience/ for original jokes:
States that a joke can be repeated to different audiences. It promotes good cheer (and a funny reputation for you.) It also allows maximum milage.
(I'm a strong believer of resoursefulness.)
Rule 23 (b) when the joke is repeated by the hearer and the original teller is known to the audience/ for my original jokes:
States that a joke can be repeated to audiences, on the condition that due credit is provided to the original teller. In the special case that I happen to be the original teller, or creator (which is a common case, considering my quick wit) due credit must be given, and a few words/lines/conversations about my brilliance is obligatory.
On negligance of clause (b) strict action will be taken, which includes isolation for upto three months,or a written apology or both.

On russel peters repeating his jokes: give the poor guy a break! He didn't expect his performances to be taped and put up on the internet. Technically he only tells each audience the same joke once.

Frog Prince

2007-10-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

That fairy tale. I'm sure you've read that bloody fairy tale. Y'know, the one where the princess finds a frog- that is actually a prince-
and she has to kiss it so he
can reverse an evil
curse..?
I've always wondered why the princess does it. Why would any one in their right minds kiss a frog even if it was going to turn into this supposedly completely gorgeous prince? There are so many other fish in the sea (Hehe) after all. It boggles the mind.
I'm surprised, no wait shocked, by her lack of dignity. (I do get a bit feminist too. Why is it that no man ever falls for a frog? What an unfair world.)
I tend to like the version where it ends with her
dining on frog legs. They are a delicacy, and I'm epicurean.
But on the bright side, if frogs turned into princes, maybe there is hope in the world.
I do over analyse.

*This poster was strangely appropriate. I didn't make it.

As of now

2007-10-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

Right Now
I'm sitting in the same old room, near the same old computer, thinking about publishing some new entries before i get back to college and get completely absorbed in that. Its not because i love it, but because i feel compelled to keep myself busy.
I am now in possesion of a fringe. I think its a bit too short, but i can live with it. I've had far worse.I'm almost choking with the cigarette smoke hanging around me and i'm going to be rather surprised if i don't develop any type of cancer before i'm fifty. sometimes, i almost regret being so averse to smoking, because if i wasn't then at least i'd be able to enjoy it and kill myself slowly, instead of letting others do the job. its a little unfair, don't you think?
I'm surprised at the amount of deviation i've made. I've always thought i was a pretty stable character but that isn't so true. At the end of all of this, i'm going to be so far from right now. I like watching children. Its fascinating to see how they get so curropted.
But now, i like it. I've spent the past fifteen days dwelling on the past and the future.. pretty much forgetting the present. Its cliched. But now, I won't. And i am not.

A little too much drama

2007-10-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

I sit there and watch her from across the room. She just seems to command it.
She shivers furiously when the wind blows, giving the illusion that its freezing cold when it isnt even close. She smiles. Mysteriously, if i might add.
She walks over. No, she glides over.. almost as if she's being blown over by the wind. I get a clearer view of her, lines under her eyes and a few blemishes that i couldn't see from afar.. and another smile. But this time, its far less mysterious.
Her magic seems to fade as she approaches, and vanishes entirely when she talks. She rambles on about herself for a minute or two, stopping periodically to ask me things about myself that she probably doesnt give even the littlest inkling about. I answer, nonetheless and smile politely here and there. She tells me things about herself, slightly personal things.. that I, perhaps, would have liked to avoid. She always comes off wonderfully though, in her stories. Like one who possesses incalculable wisdom.
She rarely does anything wrong, it seems.. and so we should
admire her, worship her, and aspire to be like her. She laughs. Its one of those perfect laughs. Tinkling and delicate, the kind that you can fall in love with. But thats the surface of it. Theres some conceit in it, if you bother to dig deeper.
She dominates me still. Though not like before. Now its forced upon me. I continue to behave appropriately, almost humouring her. I am a little spineless.
But then i ask her, i almost cant help it.
'Why are you like this? It seems so unnessecary, so adopted.
You're alot less complicated'- i say, for lack of better words.
She laughs, again. Almost near perfect this time around too. And then she says,
'Its because it makes me seem so much more fascinating.'
'so much more...' I repeat, mumbling under my breath.

Wisdom from the Un-wise

2007-10-08T23:30:00.000-07:00

This may not be universal. I don't expect it to be.

I know nothing. Nothing at all.
Get it. Nothing?!
But you know nothing. Nothing more.
*
Never trust your opponents.
They are slimey, underhand and people you think you know.
*
If you don't make mistakes, you don't learn from them.
If you make mistakes, you learn from them.
If you learn from them, you don't make mistakes.
But if you don't make them, you don't learn from them and therefore you make them.
-Everything is complicated. Watch out for the loopholes.
*

I'll think, I'll wait.
I'll plan, I'll anticipate.
But chances are,
That its too far..
and c'est la vie,
its not what its cracked up to be.
*
Run for your lives!

Then and Now

2007-10-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

"Oh. Then you can just kick him in the balls"
"No! Why would i do that? I won't do that!"

And here I'm almost doing it, and you're standing in the way and blocking me.

H.I.P R.E.P.L.A.C.E.M.E.N.T

2007-09-05T10:40:00.000-07:00

H.I.P R.E.P.L.A.C.E.M.E.N.T
Okay, say it.
Hip replacement.

hipliperpracemenNoNO!! HipRepraNO!

Okay. Lets try this again. Slightly slower this time. Hip...replacement.
Hip-pilip-refraArghh..

Slower? Okay. Lets try this.
H..i..p?
Hip.
R..e..p?
Rep.
P..l...a..c..e?
Place.
M..e..n..t?
Ment.
All together?
HipLipPrasement!

I think i might just have some serious left brain-right brain miswiring.
I've tried so hard! (i am NOT quoting a gay song.) Maybe its a unique talent?
For all those who have been patient, it is truly appreciated. :)
(and not just here.)

At the Top

2007-09-05T10:16:00.000-07:00

Since its the first time in five years that this has happened, it Does deserve a mention on the page.

Liverpool is at the top of the premiership.

(Savour it for a moment.)
Yes, we are! hehe. So what if its just after four games.. we still are.
And we reached there after scoring 6 goals.
Not one. or two. SIX!
And we have torres too now. (Thought i should write that here since i haven't said a word about him since that last article.)
Read fever pitch, you might understand how I, personally, feel responsible for this.

Help is Here.

2007-09-05T09:03:00.000-07:00

I love being a saviour. Really, it makes me feel all good, and very selfless. I only help people so that I feel happy and content with myself.
Yes, its a real break from being self absorbed. I advocate that we should all do something for somebody else so we can feel good about ourselves.
(Hahaha. Pat yourself on the back if you see the irony. I'm sorry, i just had to point it out. Its like the compulsive urge i get to explain my jokes when people don't laugh hard enough -that's just wrong- )

Anyway. Here's how i can help. If you're studying in Delhi university, in the first year right now (year:2007) , are doing history, would like assistance with your assignments, and stumble across this page.. just leave a comment,
with your name and email address and what assignment exactly you need help with and I'll see what i can do. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll help where i can.

I'm possibly the laziest bum on the surface of this earth, and if it wasn't for the Internet and my high level of intelligence (that helps me paraphrase so brilliantly), i wouldn't have even passed the last year. I can't remember a single time where i actually bothered to do the assignments from the readings.. (okay, there were times, i admit.. i can be a nerd. wow. that is SO uncool.).. so i would get on the net, the night before it was due and write some ingenious bit of work that fared pretty well in the end. (Wikipedia is god.) Boy, i do boast. I shall stop discussing my brilliance now.
But there were many times last year when i felt like that was too much work as well..I mean billions of people have studied before me, and about half of them would have done all the dirty work.. so where had all that work gone?
I wondered why no one had decided to put it on the net, and
save the time and effort of many many people.
Anyway.. I've decided to be the pioneer, a saviour, god. Whatever you want to call me.

Let me just say, that this isn't cheating. I'm not writing out any assignments for you. I'm simply guiding you. Its more like efficient use of resources..y'know preventing the wastage of brain time and effort when its been done before.. I don't get why every person must do it from scratch. Instead, it should be more like the constitution- there is the basic framework, and amendments (edits) are made as it is passed on.
..and since professors seem to be catching on to blatant copying off wikipedia, this should prove a little more useful.

A little disclaimer though - i was pretty darn lucky alot of the time to be able to have gotten by so easily. so if you have time to study, you should.. you should only resort to this when in dire need. Okay, this is getting preachy now, You get the gist.

Anyone with second year stuff?

(Random) Statistics

2007-08-26T02:07:00.000-07:00

Diseases caused by smoking kill more than 430,000 people in the US each year. In fact, smoking is directly responsible for the majority of lung cancer cases (87 percent), emphysema cases, and chronic bronchitis cases. Even with anti-smoking campaigns and medical health disclaimers in place, many people continue to smoke or start to smoke every year. According to the American Cancer Society, 90 percent of new smokers are children and teenagers, in many cases, replacing the smokers who quit or died prematurely from a smoking-related disease.

I'm not sure about the stats for india, but im sure theyre equally bad, if not worse.
At least Think about quitting.

Another statistic :
Cigarette smoking is one of the top ten causes of death,
more than car accidents and homicides.
The statistics are 430,000 to 200,000.

Also,
Mynahs walk 40% of the time. I have calculated after much observation.

So much to update, so little time!

2007-08-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

The updates will come, slowly - Look out for them.

For Now-

A joke:

What do you call a 100 bunny rabbits in a row, hoping backwards?
A receding Hare line.

*Laugh Here*

A Fact:

The literal translation of the word 'Yeti' in tibetan means 'That Thing Over There'

Thanks, Apoorva for your contribution.

*Ponder Here*

Oh and Osian was brilliant, in case you were wondering.

(Random) statistics

2007-07-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

Every 1 in 5 people do not like momos.
They should be lined up and shot.

Every 2 of 3 people who do eat them cannot handle the chilli sauce.
Its like reading without the light on at night. (Rather twisted analogy, i know.)

Every 1 in 3 people get loosies after eating the chilli sauce.
I'm not in that bracket.

A quick update

2007-07-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

College has resumed, and it scares me that i slipped back into the entire routine with such ease, erasing the past two months from my mind with one swoop.
I had become an anti-establishment, kafka-reading, gondry-watching, classic rock-listening, fancy cuisine-eating environmentalist, without doing much, really.
But now, i'm back to being the same old average-intellect person... its quite frustrating. Maybe im just not meant to be like that. I do like gossip.

What i've done

I have avoided most plastic bags since the last post, i can't deny that i used some... but only when absolutely necessary.
And i've made a concious effort to switch off lights, and walk instead of taking autos.
I figured that thats a start.

What I've learned

When in doubt, search the internet.
When in desperate need to finish papers, do NOT copy off it. They know.

Being increasingly politically correct, is being politically incorrect.

I'm getting old. Very old. Another year, and i'll be through college.

How to save the world

2007-07-05T08:47:00.000-07:00

Che Guevara blew me away a couple of years ago. I wanted to be just like him. Just like him.
I wanted to do the entire trip through South America, i wanted to change and then i wanted to become a Violent Revolutionary.
Last year, i studied Gandhi in acute detail - His philosophy, his vision for India. I wanted to be a pacifist revolutionary, to practice satyagraha.
I was filled with veneration..
similar to what happened earlier, with Che.
I know i seem rather bi-polar, and this little paragraph reflects a strange dichotomy
in my character. But it doesn't really. It just means one thing.
I want to be a revolutionary. I want to make a change.
Now I've realised that that isn't entirely possible.. i have no clear political inclinations and i do not adamantly oppose any ideology. I would make quite a disastrous political revolutionary.
I've considered instead, to fight poverty alleviation, the aids epidemic, freedom for Tibet and numerous other causes. Unfortunately, though my support will be valuable, i cant do anything that will have immediate effect... I would go shoot some chinese guys, but that would just be dumb. Plus i dont think i can handle gore (Not Al - he seems to be doing a good job.) unless i'm playing Quake.. and as far as raising money goes, the amount would be insignificant due to my lack of musical talent.
So here's what Ive settled on. Saving the world. The earth, more specifically.
The earth is dying. (It is. I'm not being dramatic.)
There has been a a one degree rise in the temperature within the past century, which is considerable keeping in mind that the difference in the temperature now and in the last period of glaciation was only a few degrees.
With global warming comes a number of related problems,
extinction of a number of animals destroying the predator-prey balance,
receeding glaciers which forms an important water source for many countries, ours being one of them, Increase in intensity of weather conditions which is capable of destroying towns and cities.
Along with global warming, we fear the destruction of rainforests, and other resources without which the human species will perish, pollution of all types is aiding and speeding up the process.
The earth is fast approaching the end, the time is NOW to stop it.
(alright, a little dramatic. But its only for effect.)
I'm not developing captain planet powers any time soon, but till then i do i can do little things that will make a difference. ( All this new found determination to save the earth i owe to an hour of watching VH1.It has done a darn good job
brainwashing me into typing this and I'm sure many others as well.)
Its all pretty elementary stuff.. things that we know but don't necessarily do.
The POA includes - switching of the lights after we leave a room. That saves a lot more electricity than you think.
I'm also going to make sure i switch all the light bulbs in my house to CFL energy saving light bulbs; with people all over the world switching over to them "it would the prevention of greenhouse gases equivalent to the annual emissions of millions of cars"
Another easy thing that everyone can do is carrying a bag when you go to the market to avoid using plastic bags. It just requires a bit of foresight, and once you make it a habit it isn't a difficult.
I've also decided to plant one tree every single year of my life. I'm not suggesting every day, or every month. Just once a year. So, i should plant at least 45 trees in my lifetime. If everyone in India (lets stick with that for now) was mobilised to do so, that would mean in one year we can plant at maximum 1,129,866,154 trees. I realise that its a highly Utopian plan, and very unlikely.. but if i can convince a few people, who can convince a few people so on and so forth, we can get quite a number to do so (baring in mind the six degrees of separation theory)
I think i'm going to be doing a little volunteering with organisations supporting these causes, and through them spread the word around..
I may not be becoming a Che or a Gandhi any time soon, but no matter how little it will be, I'm going to make a change. I wont be gay now, and say so can you.. because i think you know you can.
(More ideas later.)

Go.

2007-07-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

(Random) Statistics

2007-07-01T03:31:00.000-07:00

While passing through Punjab, in five minutes you will be able
to see (at least) 30 people wearing pink shirts. The colour yellow is not as popular, as only 15 people were spotted with yellow shirts.
That is, 2 pinks to every yellow shirt and every ten seconds at least one man can be seen wearing a pink shirt.
Pink is also a popular turban colour, but we do not have the exact statistics.
****
Picture 1 displays a magazine cut-out of the latest trends in Indian fashion. The Metrosexual look is in full swing, with pink becoming a very
popular colour even with the general public, as seen in picture 2.
It will only be a short while before straightened hair and floral
patterns gather momentum among males.
India is becoming a fashion conscious country, and it will soon join the ranks of france and italy, and perhaps overthrow them with our creative use of prints, colours and mixtures of ethnic and western designs.

Penestae

2007-06-30T09:04:00.000-07:00

Forlan switch to allow Torres' move to Liverpool?

Liverpool today appeared to move closer to signing Spain striker Fernando Torres after his current club Atletico Madrid agreed a deal for Villarreal's Diego Forlan.

Torres has been linked with a £27million move to Merseyside and the transfer of former Manchester United frontman Forlan looks likely to pave the way for the 23-year-old to move to Anfield.

Uruguay international Forlan, who is currently on international duty in the Copa America, has agreed a four-year deal with the Primera Liga club.

A statement on the Atletico website read: 'Atletico Madrid, Villarreal and the representative of Diego Forlan have reached an agreement for the transfer of the Uruguayan player to the Rojiblanco club for the next four seasons.'

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has reassured fans he is working on signings 'all the time' as he closes in on Torres.

The Reds boss remained tight-lipped over any deal between the Reds and Atletico Madrid for the striker but sources close to the club insist that only personal terms with the Spanish international now need to be concluded when he returns from holiday next week.

The Anfield club are expected to pay close to the £27million buy-out clause in the player's contract and, while Benitez refused to name names, he did admit he hoped new players would be arriving 'soon'.

Benitez said: 'You must always be excited at the start of a new season. You must also have confidence in your team and hopefully we will soon bring in the new players that we want to make the squad better.

'We are working on new signings all the time. As I've already said, the spine of the team is in place and now we just need to add to that.'

Djibril Cisse appears to have moved closer to a permanent move away from Anfield after his his agent Ranko Stojic revealed the striker wants to join Marseille, where he spent last season on loan.

Stojic admitted West Ham had enquired about the Frenchman's services but insists it is a move to his homeland which appeals most to the forward.

He told the Independent: 'Marseille is definitely the choice for Djibril. I think the deal will happen on Friday or Saturday.

'I have been very busy this week - I caught six planes in two days - and I am sorry for the people I have not had the chance to call back - Mr Eggert Magnusson of West Ham for example.'
************************************************************************************
Penestae: Sometimes accompanied their masters to battle, and fought on horse-back, as their knights or vassals,they could possess goods, but were tied to the land.
******************************
The football transfer market bears this strange resemblance to slave trade, i've always thought.
'I buy your guy. Heaps Sesterii. I throw in couple of guys- free'
( i stole a couple of lines from obelix and co. makes it sound more like the slave traders, me thinks.)
So here we go. Villareal have bought forlan, which means that athletico is going to have excess slaves, sorry players, and can afford to let torres go.. for us to buy him.
It makes me happy. Very happy. I just hope he isnt going to flop like forlan did when he came to england. Or even a morientes, who i liked considerably before he arrived at anfield.
I like torres. He plays for spain, and i like spain, hence i like torres.
But he's a good (great) player.. and it seems like he'd fit in well. We need a striker, more specifically a 20+ goals per season man, and thats him. He has creativity, skill and is a darn good finisher And he's only 23. He has potential and talent- thats a good buy right there.
He reminds me of gerrard sometimes.. he seems hard working and equally devoted.
I'm a fan already.
As for cisse, It was terrible that half the time he spent in liverpool was recovering from injuries, and i'd say it's better for him to leave.. and for us too. I dont like it everytime a person of the 2005 squad leaves because the team becomes less and less like the one that won.
*a moment, while we think back..sigh*
I don't like it at all that dudek's leaving.. i liked him in liverpool last year too, even though he was on the bench and reina was in goal. I wish sometimes players could be
bound to the club like slaves to the land. I wish gerrard and carragher could be bound to liverpool
forever, so we never have to go through the bitterness, pain and distress of them leaving.

A day in the Life

2007-06-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

I like breaded chops. I like Chicken cutlets. I dont like the mince at the café, despite rave reviews by outsiders. I like vegetable spring rolls, but only chicken wontons. I like wai-wai and maggi, especially when its raining. I don't like it when people call soufflés mousses, and vica versa. I appreciate capsicum in salads, but i wouldn't eat it otherwise. I always eat potatoes. I like thai curry, but not too much. I could survive on momos. I love pita bread and hummus. I want a chocolate tart.
I'm drooling now.
Its dinner time.

Free Falling

2007-06-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

I'm terribly uninspired right now, so the junk that i normally produce is going to be worse than it is usually.
So its just terrible.

I went wall climbing today. It sounds a whole lot less exciting when i say that, than when you actually climb. Its pretty darn scary actually, but i reached the top. (That's not boasting. Nope. Its not counted.. I'm sure you would have been curious about how far i reached.. so i had to tell you.)
We were wearing harnesses and it felt like a nappy-cum-thong, and i was thinking of that while putting it on and i kept laughing-I'm quite immature. I think the climbing man was getting pretty annoyed at me, so i tried to be extra nice lest he drop me to pay back for my behaviour. I'm pretty short actually, so climbing isn't easy (its easier for taller people. And for those of you snickering here, i finally felt the height thing today.. i usually feel pretty tall. Go ahead, laugh. I know you want to.)
The first bit was alright, but once I'd reached a decent height my
vertigo started kicking in, and i started getting quite nervous. You
know all the 'symptoms' i'm sure.. heart racing, sweaty palms,
head throbbing yet in a clear voice saying " You're going to die.
Yes, die. You are going to plummet to the ground
at the speed of light and then you will look like a bug on a
windshield. Smart, real smart sabira.
And you don't even have a will."
And then there was the really tough part, when i reached the slanting bit, and to grab on to every hold i had to really push myself up and jump.. I struggled on that bit twice, i thought i would fall and break my noggin, and the voices were becoming louder and louder, but i managed in the end. But the first two times, when i couldn't do it, i was just dangling there half way up (actually, more.) thinking about how i won't be able to write any more blog
entries.

But the worst part, the part i really hate, is when you have to let go and come down. When your stomach sinks to your knees, and what you ate for lunch comes all the way up, and you
nearly lose consciousness, and every thing becomes blurry,
and you think your brain was right, and then you curse yourself
and...
It felt like i was in one of those dreams.. when you keep falling and falling.. and falling. But in dreams i like the feeling, i enjoy it. My brain doesn't say much then.. so that must be it.
But here, I had to close my eyes every single time, really tightly, so that even the
air pressure couldnt have forced them open.. I'm sure that if i didn't i would have
vomited all over the man billing (it's pronounced bilaying, but i don't know how to spell it, so I'll just leave it like that until i figure out how you do.) me down, or there would have been some equally dire
consequences.
I wonder why its so hard to let go, and why i would rather have just stuck to that wall, even if i was all the way up there, and i claim to have vertigo. It was just a whole lot safer that way, i thought.
We do that off the wall too. We can't let go easily, can we? And after you do, you feel like you're going to come crashing down.. but you don't. You always land on your feet, safe and sound. Like cats, but still shaking.

A disclaimer.

2007-06-25T23:53:00.000-07:00

I have to constantly remind everyone, my opinions have full right to have no grounds in reality.

Kapish?

Its rather strange.

2007-06-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

I keep wondering why I'm afraid of lizards and not chameleons, they're exactly the same. Its funny how everyone is scared of similar things...spiders, lizards, roaches and not things like panda bears and staplers. However i do know someone who's scared of butterflies..it's rather strange.
Today i saw a cloud. Just a single cloud, all alone. Really, it looked like that. It was pretty far away, somewhere around vasant kunj, I'd say and it was raining in that particular place. There was lighting and all that. But it wasn't raining here.
From every part of the world that you go, you can see the same sky (sure, the positioning of the stars will be different, but it is the same sky.) Yet there can be a cloud in one part, and it'll be raining, and in the other it'll be dry. It's rather strange.
Beauty being in the eye of the beholder.. everything being subjective..nothing being universally accepted. How in one place a burp after a meal could just be a disgusting display of a gastronomical disorder, or plain bad manners and in another it could be the highest compliment to a chef. It's rather strange.
It's rather strange the way i sneeze in the sun. And how i always get at least one cold in summer. No actually, that's a conspiracy.
I'm surprised you're still reading this. Its bad, unenlightening writing. I cant believe you're thAt bored... It's rather strange, actually.

On being Happy

2007-06-25T10:58:00.001-07:00

Who said money can't buy happiness? (Refer to last post.)

Buy me a plate of momos Or a trip to machu Picchu Or Gael garcia Bernal Or another uefa champions league cup for Liverpool and i'll be happy for some time before i get another gift; I'm a person of small wants.

Item # 1 Code: 0003742 Item # 2 Code: 0007263
Item # 3 Code: 0001856 Item #4 Code: 0002873

Misery is happiness too. If you like to be miserable, then when you're really miserable, you ARE happy too. Hence a bad mood once in a way is a good thing if you enjoy it. It makes life a little more fulfilling, well rounded. So sulk. I reccomend it. (You there, stop snickering while reading this. You evil little beast. Entering into the labyrinths of MY brain. Think you're so clever huh? HUH?)

Humans can never be satisfied. We learnt it in economics. Its one of the basic economic principles.

1. Human wants are unlimited.

2. Resources are limited.

The third, i have forgotten. (I study history, i do not require to know this.)

So were the buddhists right? Is the world full of pain and suffering?

Cookie would be happy with a little rubber ball, while you want the world and you probably still won't be.

Please Note: I CAN be contacted for further details about my wants. You can fund one item and will be a proud donatee of the Make Sabira Have a Happy Life Foundation. I have added pictures for your benefit.

The Foundation would also like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their kind donations, they Are appreciated. In recent times, Ms. Dutt for her generous gifts.

The art of living

2007-06-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

So, i was watching t.v. yesterday. (What A surprise.) It was quite a fascinating show. On being happy or something like that. No. Wait. Thats a lie. I'm not that bored.
I was asleep - falling asleep- but i could still hear what was playing in the background, and that was it.
Anyway, lets move on. The presenter was talking about how (earlier) people just wanted to get rich and how all the self help books were about getting rich quick, and making money but how off late, more and more self help books were focussing on the meaning of life and how you should enjoy it fully.
Since the show was on happiness, his obvious point was that people were beginning to realise that being rich and thin didnt mean happiness and there was/is alot more to it. That was HIS explanation to the increasing number of these crappy books. (Tuesdays with Morrie, i'd like to add right here, is on the top of my list.) Maybe it is. Maybe people have realized that, to use an old cliche, money can NOT buy happiness.. you can have all the money in the world, and you can still be unhappyblah blah blah. (I'm sure you get the gist of it, by now.)
I'm a cynic. (Yes, and it sounds cool too.) I don't think people are that.. that.. Okay. Let me rephrase. I still think people are materialistic, money minded, whatever you want to call it. No one has become MORE carefree/spiritual... what i'm trying to say is, no one wants to live a life with only meaning. I know there are alot of you tut-tutting and shaking your heads and completely disagreeing with me, but i still think what i think, and if its not all the people, its the majority.
So that brings me back to the question. Why is there an increase in the number of people writing these books? Is it to try and spread the spirit.. is it?
or is it to try and convince people like me that there are some people who truly dont care?
Nope. I don't think so. Theyre smarter than THAT.
I think they've have figured out that self help books are quite a big market.
Really, books on the meaning of life are..
Appealing to the general public? Check.
Innovative? Check.
See they've clearly read their copies of how to strike it rich, quick.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

2007-06-22T10:19:00.002-07:00

The belly rules the mind is a spanish proverb, i do not kid you. The spanish are very profound people (rather like me) and i agree with this whole stomach-ly. (The title, that is.)
Heres another one that amuses me-
He who eats alone, chokes alone.
I'm beggining to like these proverb people. I think i'd fit in well in that society.

Anyway, back to the purpose of this blog, now that the explanation to the name and all that is done. I eat, will eat, and have eaten.. i do that alot. so here i will document the good, the bad and the ugly. As well as all my very original jokes. Boredom kills, you see.
Chances are, i didnt ask you to view this.. and you did it from your own free will. so dont blame me if you wind up wasting your time. again- i didnt tell you to.
Now that we've got all that out of the way, Eat your heart out!