I call it "Reese's Pieces"

A pictographic story.

  








 

List

Completely arbitrary list, in random order.
Completely.

1. Gael Garcia Bernal
   
2. Roque SantaCruz
3. James Dean
4. Michel Gondry
5. Holden Caulfield
6. Che guevara
7. Sirius Black
8. Paul Mcartney
9. Paolo Maldini
10. Amir khan (the boxer)

*sigh*  Thou art how typical.

FYI

I love wikiHow. I love, love it.
I'm copying and pasting for the benefit of Mr. Kite.. and others, but full credit to the people/person who wrote this. 
wikihow is god too.
Try clicking on that random article page, it always throws up fascinating results.
(In particular, the how to be a goth article)

http://www.wikihow.com/Dance-So-People-Stare-at-You

How to Dance So People Stare at You
Some people can dance well. Some people can't. If you want to dance so people stare at you, read on.
Steps

1. Make sure there is music playing. Otherwise, you'll look even more stupid then you would if there was music
2. Slowly raise your arms up. Then slowly pull them down.
3. Spin until you are too dizzy to spin any longer.
4. Jump with your feet flat on the floor and wait dramatically, as if you are in an action movie.
5. Do the moonwalk.
6. Dash across the floor and leap with your arms stretched out. This is called a 'grand jete' or something like that.
7. Make fists with both hands and alternate moving them up and down.
   Make an 'alligator mouth' with both hands and 'snap' them.
8. Flail your arms around madly and crazily.
9. By now, people should be staring at you. If they aren't, you have been doing something wrong.
10. Attempt to do the splits, then cry out in pain when you are about halfway.
11. Pull yourself up, and do any disco move you desire.
12. Exit the room.
    

Tips

• Make odd expressions with your face as you are dancing.
  

• If people tell you to stop, tell them you don't ask them to stop dancing when they are enjoying themselves.
  

• Wear a ridiculous costume, such as a skin tight neon bodysuit.

Warnings

• When you are flailing your arms around, make sure not to hit anyone, or you could be sued.
  

• If you are in a professional place, you may not want to do this.
  

*

http://www.wikihow.com/Freak-People-Out
How to Freak People Out
Want to know how to totally freak people out? That is, without being gross? It requires a strange mind, but moreso a lot of bravery... or stupidity.

Steps

1. Carry objects suspicious to others. Here's a great example: label a suitcase "head", and walk around with it.Or carry around normal things in a suspicious way. Get a cardboard box and fill it with scissors with red food colouring on them (so it looks like blood), and carry them around offering them to people.
2. Talk on a headset loudly and say wacky things like "no, no...it'll blow before I get there." or "So grandma... what're you wearing?" (and then wink to people standing around)
3. Be disturbed. You could crouch in the corner of an elevator and stare at the camera. That's only for the people that can keep a straight face (keep your eyes on the camera even if people come in). If there's no camera, face the corner chanting some distorted spell thing.
4. Pretend to be a psychic. Say you're at McDonald's, look up at the menu for a while (you can even squint) and then lean over to the person next to you in line and say "don't try the fries". Or something like that. Right after that, walk into the restroom casually so the person can't ask why.
5. Pretend to be a blind person in public then get into a car and drive off. Or follow real close behind people and trip over their feet and say "Oh! sorry, didn't see you there... obviously." (Then make a sad face) You can pretend to really hurt yourself as well, and point angrily in the wrong direction claiming you'll sue. (note: don't trip in front of traffic)
6. Learn how to do something really cool like juggle fire or chainsaws or throw knives then scare people by juggling over their head.
7. Sneak up behind people and make bird or animal noises. This one takes imagination!
8. Fake elaborate seizures. (note: this one isn't very safe at all)
9. Talk in Shakespearean language.
10. Get a friend to wear a dark suit, and have them follow you. You can pretend you're on the run from the law or you're Tom Cruise or something.
11. Put regular candy (that you can swallow safely) into gum wrappers and eat it continually, especially in an elevator or cafe. Then complain that your stomach hurts.
12. Wear costumes. Great example: get a friend, one of you wear green tights and the other black, and you can be Peter pan and his shadow.
13. Stage crime scene investigations. Fake bodies and yellow tape can help out here.

Tips

• Put lots of time thinking of what to say. you could think of something the day before so you can perfect it when the moment comes.
  

• Once you get experienced you can spot good opportunities and act completely insane on the spot.
  

• These usually work well in crowded areas.
  

Warnings

• Doing this stuff could get you tangled up with security.
  

Things needed

• A random brain
  

• Maybe a few friends (to make sure you stay safe, or help out)
  

• Practice.
  

*
Please Note: Au contraire to what it may seem like, i do not, did not and have not used any of these tips.

To prevent Tearing

"I could have used these glasses over the holidays when I had to chop a lot of onions. The goggles have a foam seal that shuts out onion smells and protects your eyes. They also have anti-fog lenses and don't look that unattractive." - person who wants to buy ridiculous looking glasses.
Another advantage that i have noted-
you need not buy those 3-D vision glasses for the upcoming star trek convention. 




Another variant of the ever useful kitchen contraption, onion goggles. They come with tiny  detachable tea cups, in the rare case that you wish to stop chopping onions and want to sit down for a jolly good cup o' tea with a spot of lemon innit.

Just in Case

I like

1. Salt and vinegar chips
   
2. Peanut Butter and chocolate cups (Reeses pieces, to be specific)
3. Gael Garcia Bernal
4. Liverpool Stuff
5. Animals
6. Earrings
7. Scarves
8. Cook Books

Well, There's more, but thats all i can remember for now.
The complete title of the entry is called 
"just in case you 'accidently' stumbled upon this looking for ideas".

Notice

I've lost my funny. I haven't thought of/heard a good joke in forever. Contact the 'Make Sabira Have a Happy Life Foundation' on any details regarding the same. Generous gifts (plus the self content of knowing that i'm all peachy, i must add) will follow.

Since i'm on the topic of humour, i may as well clear my stand on repitition. I'm all for it.
Rule 23 (a) When the joke is repeated by the hearer and the original teller is unkown to audience/ for original jokes:
States that a joke can be repeated to different audiences. It promotes good cheer (and a funny reputation for you.) It also allows maximum milage.
(I'm a strong believer of resoursefulness.)
Rule 23 (b) when the joke is repeated by the hearer and the original teller is known to the audience/ for my original jokes:
States that a joke can be repeated to audiences, on the condition that due credit is provided to the original teller. In the special case that I happen to be the original teller, or creator (which is a common case, considering my quick wit) due credit must be given, and a few words/lines/conversations about my brilliance is obligatory. 
On negligance of clause (b) strict action will be taken, which includes isolation for upto three months,or a written apology or both.

On russel peters repeating his jokes: give the poor guy a break! He didn't expect his performances to be taped and put up on the internet. Technically he only tells each audience the same joke once.

Frog Prince

That fairy tale. I'm sure you've read that bloody fairy tale. Y'know, the one where the princess finds a frog- that is actually a prince- 
and she has to kiss it so he 
can reverse an evil
curse..?
I've always wondered why the princess does it. Why would any one in their right minds kiss a frog even if it was going to turn into this supposedly completely gorgeous prince? There are so many other fish in the sea (Hehe) after all. It boggles the mind.
I'm surprised, no wait shocked, by her lack of dignity. (I do get a bit feminist too. Why is it that no man ever falls for a frog? What an unfair world.)
I tend to like the version where it ends with her
dining on frog legs. They are a delicacy, and I'm epicurean.
But on the bright side, if frogs turned into princes, maybe there is hope in the world.
I do over analyse.


*This poster was strangely appropriate. I didn't make it.

As of now

Right Now
I'm sitting in the same old room, near the same old computer, thinking about publishing some new entries before i get back to college and get completely absorbed in that. Its not because i love it, but because i feel compelled to keep myself busy.
I am now in possesion of a fringe. I think its a bit too short, but i can live with it. I've had far worse.I'm almost choking with the cigarette smoke hanging around me and i'm going to be rather surprised if i don't develop any type of cancer before i'm fifty. sometimes, i almost regret being so averse to smoking, because if i wasn't then at least i'd be able to enjoy it and kill myself slowly, instead of letting others do the job. its a little unfair, don't you think?
I'm surprised at the amount of deviation i've made. I've always thought i was a pretty stable character but that isn't so true. At the end of all of this, i'm going to be so far from right now. I like watching children. Its fascinating to see how they get so curropted.
But now, i like it. I've spent the past fifteen days dwelling on the past and the future.. pretty much forgetting the present. Its cliched. But now, I won't.  And i am not.

A little too much drama

I sit there and watch her from across the room. She just seems to command it.
She shivers furiously when the wind blows, giving the illusion that its freezing cold when it isnt even close. She smiles. Mysteriously, if i might add.
She walks over. No, she glides over.. almost as if she's being blown over by the wind. I get a clearer view of her, lines under her eyes and a few blemishes that i couldn't see from afar.. and another smile. But this time, its far less mysterious.
Her magic seems to fade as she approaches, and vanishes entirely when she talks. She rambles on about herself for a minute or two, stopping periodically to ask me things about myself that she probably doesnt give even the littlest inkling about. I answer, nonetheless and smile politely here and there. She tells me things about herself, slightly personal things.. that I, perhaps, would have liked to avoid. She always comes off wonderfully though, in her stories. Like one who possesses incalculable wisdom. 
She rarely does anything wrong, it seems.. and so we should 
admire her, worship her, and aspire to be like her. She laughs. Its one of those perfect laughs. Tinkling and delicate, the kind that you can fall in love with. But thats the surface of it. Theres some conceit in it, if you bother to dig deeper.
She dominates me still. Though not like before. Now its forced upon me. I continue to behave appropriately, almost humouring her. I am a little spineless.
But then i ask her, i almost cant help it. 
'Why are you like this? It seems so unnessecary, so adopted. 
You're alot less complicated'- i say, for lack of better words.
She laughs, again. Almost near perfect this time around too. And then she says,
'Its because it makes me seem so much more fascinating.'
'so much more...' I repeat, mumbling under my breath.